Boxes

The sun gently kissed my face causing a warm, ethereal sensation to envelop my entire body as I fell into a light slumber. It was a quiet, peaceful Sunday afternoon. Suddenly, an electrifying thought crossed my mind and I began to shout internally, “There is no box. THERE IS NO BOX.” I was reckoning with my past thoughts on the self-imposed or forced boxes that I, like many of you, are placed into to be defined.

As a child, I was dropped into the box of being a “girly girl” rocking neat ponytails with colorful bows and a matching dress. While I was given plenty of ways to freely express myself, I felt like I was being confined as far as expressing myself through my appearance. I vividly remember protesting having to wear a dress to school and then returning home with a scraped, bloody knee after an intense game of kickball. That day, I learned a valuable lesson: the power and importance of being able to choose how I was going to show up in the world. During college, I willingly stepped into the box preparing me for a life centered around corporate America with the sole requirement of taming my desire for absolute freedom and artistic pursuits. I navigated life within a pattern of repeating lessons tied to suppressing my own light and authenticity until it became too much of a compromise. I needed to disrupt the cycle and I knew it. Eventually, it was time to take a long, hard look at my battle with boxes and why I was even fighting them.

The final answer to my “why” came in the form of a heated exchange that was determined to lock me in a box and throw away the key. I remember saying to myself after processing the exchange, “you’ve always known who you are and you are solid in it, so shine brightly from that space no matter what anyone says or does. Stop battling.” So, I did. I left behind the energy of that encounter with a restored sense of freedom and perspective on how I would live the rest of my life. I committed to shining brightly, within a life that I’ve created, that honors being who I am and the focus on my journey above all else. I have completely evolved out of what it means to be limited with the understanding that nobody, not even myself, holds the power to box me in unless I choose to allow it.

While boxes don’t necessarily work for me, there’s no shame or judgment in liking boxes and thriving within them. The most important concept to keep in mind, whether in a box or not, is embedded in self-awareness. More specifically, the awareness of who you are inside and outside of them along with how they impact your life. So, as a final takeaway, I challenge you to consider what role “boxes” may play in your life.

Ask yourself:

Can you name any boxes that you’ve been in or are currently in that are self-imposed, by force, or both?
Did/do you like those boxes? Did you find/or are you comfortable in those boxes? Why?
Did you find/or are you not comfortable in those boxes? Why?
Do you know who you are individually and authentically inside and outside of those boxes?

Drea'February 20, 2023